In our previous conversation (one-sided, I know), I suggested some of the things that you can do as you age in order to feel like you have done as much as possible to wrap up your affairs.  As responsible middle class folks, we do not want to leave “messes” for our kids to clean up.

Continuing with this theme, I want to look at financial risks we may succumb to as we age, as we maybe lose some of our discernment.  As we age, we become demonstrably more susceptible to scammers and unscrupulous salespeople – even shady professionals.

On the other side of the same coin, the adult children of aging parents must be increasingly mindful of the financial risks the parents are facing.

I harbor no intent to impugn the intelligence of any of us.  We are dealing with biological and psychological realities.  Older people hear differently – they suffer cognitive deficits – they may feel lonely if the spouse has died – and they may make decisions in a manner they believe calculated to avoid causing trouble or worry for their kids.  To be sure, not all seniors experience such limitations, but many do.  Deterioration is often so gradual that neither the victim nor the family fully recognizes it – which is all the more reason for us to be vigilant.

To those of you who are aging, please be careful who you trust.  If somebody you are dealing with wants access to your checkbook or your credit card – or anything else of value – you should be very suspicious.  Trustworthy professionals will NEVER ask for such things.  Never ever.

To those of you who have aging parents, it may feel uncomfortable but I encourage you to become as familiar with your parents’ financial circumstances as possible.  You may experience this as meddling – heck, Mom may well experience this as meddling, but you should still take the risk.

If possible – if your overall family circumstance permits – do what you can to assure that your parent or parents have named somebody in writing to handle financial and legal matters for them.  If this isn’t you, then it should be some other trusted family member.  If this is not feasible, then a trusted professional – someone who has a lot to lose by being proved to be stealing – may be named.

There are vultures who steal from the elderly – and steal a LOT – every day and in every way – houses are stolen, terrible loans are made, documents forged or secured from unsuspecting seniors.  This can be done by selling completely unsuitable investments or annuities or insurance policies to Dad, or by befriending Mom and getting one’s name on the checking account.

If you see any of the following facts or behaviors, you should delve further, for each may be evidence of financial impropriety:

• Unlikely purchases (check for forged credit card signatures or checks)
• Unusual bank or investment account activity – alert the bank or broker that someone may be abusing the account
• Sudden changes in spending patterns – or odd withdrawals from the ATM
• Evidence of a new lawyer or accountant or financial advisor or insurance agent in Mom’s life
• Behavioral changes – seniors who are being duped may feel shame and remorse but are unable to admit the mistakes
• Weird new friends – whether it is a courting situation or someone suddenly offering to drive Dad everywhere – it may be legit but it may not be legit.

Confronting the parent may be very difficult and must be handled with care, but confront you must.  Unless you don’t care.